Your Losses Are Merely Brief Moments in the Larger Journey of Becoming
One Disappointment Doesn’t Define a Story Still Unfolding
Disappointment doesn’t just sting — it whispers that maybe we were wrong to believe in ourselves. But one painful moment does not define a life of purpose. I had a disappointing experience today when I learned that I Am, the novella I released last year with so much hope and heart, didn’t win — not even an honorable mention — in the Next Generation Indie Book Awards.
But before I let that news define the moment, I remembered the story behind the story. I Am is not just a book. It’s a journey — one I took personally, and one I now share with readers through the eyes of a brave young salmon who questions the path laid out for him and dares to follow the voice of his own becoming. Every year, like clockwork, salmon swim upstream. But when our hero begins to question this relentless cycle, he meets a mysterious blue figure who reveals a startling truth: not all journeys are about following the path laid before you.
Challenged to rethink tradition and the very nature of his existence, the salmon must decide whether to follow the familiar route or carve a new one toward his own destiny. With enchanting mysticism and bold adventures, I Am explores the power of choice and the courage it takes to break free from the unseen forces that shape our lives. It’s a tale where destiny is not written by the expectations of others — but forged by the dreams of the self.
So yes, it stung to be overlooked. I won’t pretend otherwise. I poured my heart into that story — shaped every sentence with care, layered it with meaning, and trusted that it might find its place among the voices that move others and matter. And for a moment, I found myself wondering if that trust had been misplaced
💬“I Am wasn’t written for a panel. It was written for those who have suffered and wondered why.”
But here’s the truth: I Am wasn’t written for a panel. It was written for those who have suffered and wondered why. For the ones who felt out of place in a world that demanded sameness. For the quiet souls who questioned their path, their purpose, and whether they were simply repeating the pain of the past. It was written for those who refuse to pass down trauma — who are brave enough to become the point where it ends. For those who long to live a life in alignment with their truth.
The absence of an award doesn’t diminish the depth of what I’ve created — or the lives it may still touch. Awards can be affirming, but they’re also limited — judged through specific lenses and preferences that, in this case, didn’t recognize the quiet power and deep emotional truth this story carries. And when I remember that — when I really sit with it — I realize I haven’t lost anything. The story still stands. The meaning still flows. And the healing still finds its way. This isn’t a failure — it’s just a sacred pause in the journey of becoming. The journey isn’t measured by medals — but by meaning.
💬“This isn’t a failure — it’s just a sacred pause in the journey of becoming.”
I Am is available now on Amazon.
Let the journey of one brave salmon remind you that the path you choose — even when it breaks tradition — can become a river of healing and truth.
A Single Winter Doesn’t Measure a Lifetime of Growth
Interestingly, this lesson echoes throughout the story I wrote. When the eagle was young, he was abused, neglected, and emotionally wounded. Yet, that was only a difficult season in the story of its life - a life where it overcame hardships through belief in itself and a life of meaningful connection with the eaglets it is raising. In fact, this lesson is in all of my stories. The protagonist in The Journey of an Acorn lost all its branches because it held onto its leaves during winter, afraid it would lose more of itself to the world. Yet that season passed, and it grew into a wise and powerful oak — one who would leave a legacy of love, connection, and encouragement for those who came after it. Horatio DelaFleur, in Unbroken Legacy, still carries the weight of childhood trauma. But he confronts his deepest fears and reclaims the divine greatness that was always within him.
💬“I rebuilt myself — and shaped a life of deep meaning as a parent, teacher, writer, and friend.”
This lesson has always been true in my own life. As a child I repeatedly heard my mother being abused when I was growing up. I had no father to guide me. The only parent I had used me to soothe the deep emotional wounds she never learned to heal. That season broke me. But it didn’t end me. I rebuilt myself — and shaped a life of deep meaning as a parent, teacher, writer, and friend
My work is not lesser because it wasn’t crowned. I’m not behind. I’m not invisible. I’m still building a body of work that will outlast the timeline of a single contest.
This brief moment of grief will pass. But the fuel that comes from pursuing a purpose-aligned dream? That’s infinite.
This isn't the end of my story — it's just another moment when I continue to press forward anyway. That’s what matters most — and I know this truth deep down. I wrote something beautiful. Something real. My book has reached people’s hearts. It gave something that can’t be measured by a panel or a prize. That’s the legacy I’m building — not one based on gatekeepers, but on resonance, healing, and truth. The ones who need I Am don’t need it to win. They need it to exist. And I made that happen.
If you’re in a season of struggle, let yourself feel it fully. But also hold this truth: you’re not done. You’re just getting started—and the moments of suffering, while painful, might just deepen the conviction with which you rise. Keep creating. Keep believing. The world doesn’t need your perfection — it needs your truth.
💬“The ones who need I Am don’t need it to win. They need it to exist.”
